Daddy C
by mooji-snarf
Summary: Daddy C is the worlds hottest rap star and has gained himself some rather neurotic fans...What his family don't know is Daddy C is living a double life...SUMMARY SUCKS PLZ READ!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello One and All!**

**This idea came to me in a dream...I was walking through a forest and I thought, 'Why don't I write a twilight fanfiction?'. So I thought for a while and came up with this. REVIEWERS MAKE ME HAPPY.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Obviously.**

Edward sighed as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.

"This just will not DO" he exclaimed, ripping off his black long sleeved sweater with 'Daddy C' written across the chest. Seething, he pitched the garment across the room, where it slid down the wall. He shook his fist in its general direction. Upon hearing the commotion, Esme appeared in the doorway, twisting her hands nervously.

"Is everything alright, sweetheart?"

"NO" Edward sobbed, chagrined. "My life is ruined!"

"Can't get it up again, Edward?" Emmett chortled from the next room.

"SHUT UP, EMMETT, you…" Edward faltered. "You… mastodon!" There was silence.

"That's good, Edward, you're asserting yourself!" Esme beamed proudly. Either Alice or Jasper giggled through the wall. Edward scowled.

"I can HEAR YOU BOTH, you know!"

"…Sorry" they replied in unison.

"So, what's wrong, Edward?" Esme repeated.

"I HAVE NOTHING OF DIGNITY TO ADORN MY SELF WITH FOR THIS EVENINGS PERFORMANCE!" Edward shrieked, "What if Daddy C sees me dressed like some sort of ragamuffin?" Esme blinked.

"Um…I'm sure he won't mind what you wear…If he doesn't like it, he's not a true friend." Esme tried to console him. Edward groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Well in any case, Esme, I wouldn't expect you to understand" He sniffed and marched into the walk in dresser, slamming the sliding door shut behind him. Esme looked down sadly, running her hand through her hair anxiously. She worried about Edward's mental state sometimes. Emmett poked his head through the doorway to Edward's room, snickering.

"Yo, Esme, I wouldn't worry too much about emotional Eddy in there... Once he finds himself a girlfriend, you won't have to hold his hand when he crosses the road anymore...Or take him to the petting zoo!" Edward growled from inside the closet, before the door slid open and he poked his head out, a frustrated expression plastered upon his face.

"AS A MATTER OF FACT, BROTHER, I WAS STUDYING THE HABITS OF MAMMALS LIVING IN CAPTIVITY, OF WHICH I WAS POLITE ENOUGH TO INVITE ESME ALONG FOR THE EXCITEMENT. I THINK SHE WOULD AGREE THAT IT WAS A MOST DELIGHTFUL SUNDAY AFTERNOON, STROLLING AMONGST THE FLORA AND FAUNA OF THE PARK."

"Of course I enjoyed it, darling. We had a magnificent afternoon!" Esme smiled reassuringly and Edward looked pleased with himself.

"Do you see, Emmett? There is more to life than playing vile video games like that 'Grand Theft Automobile'." Emmett smirked, decidedly refraining from voicing his comeback.

"Boys! Esme! The concert begins in under half an hour! We need to hurry!" Carlisle called from the story below. Esme squeaked and excused herself to finish her makeup. Emmett suggested he had to...'tidy his room' with Rosalie before the outing, which left Edward to procrastinate his chosen outfit a moment longer. He finally decided on the prefect ensemble and skipped downstairs to impress his family.

"What do you think?" He demanded, twirling gracefully in order maximize full view of every angle of his get-up. Edward had adorned himself in a pair of worn-looking grey Calvin Klein jeans, an off-white Burberry coat and a black and beige Marc Jacobs scarf. To complete the look, he had messed his hair for a just-gotten-out-of-bed effect.

"Er...You look lovely, Edward, but weren't you discussing with us ALL MORNING about what Daddy C merchandise you should wear tonight?" Alice queried, wishing she had been foreseen herself joining a 'normal' clan, preferably without a hormonal teenage vampire.

"Look at my shoes, Alice!" Edward indicated obviously, looking down at his white converses covered in the letter 'c'. "What is it that you young bucks say these days, Emmett...oh, indeed. You could say my shoes are...ghetto fabulous!" Edward snorted and collapsed with laughter at his pun. Alice and Jasper exchanged glances.

"That boy needs to get laid." Emmett whispered to Rosalie, who nodded profusely in agreement. There was a strangely loud knock at the door.

Carlisle moaned, wondering what else could keep him from getting to the concert. The others truly didn't understand that he, Carlisle, in particular, could not be late.

"I'll get it." As he was opened the door, his was greeted by a strange looking girl who was facing away from him. She was wearing a slightly dirty black tracksuit and her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed for days. Strangely, she was also holding a pair of underpants, occasionally lifting the undergarment to her nose, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. As she turned around, her eyes filled with excitement and she walked right up to Carlisle, peering up at him with her face about an inch away.

"Why hello M-M-Mr. Cullen!" she stuttered. "Could you t-tell m-m-me if E-Edward is home." Carlisle raised his eyebrow and looked back over his shoulder at Edward, who had hid just out of the sight of the doorway. He shrugged, shaking his head confusedly.

"So...How do you know each other?"

"We g-g-go to s-s-school together! But he probably doesn't know who I am." She offered, beaming terrifyingly. Edward furrowed his eyebrow and lifted his hands to show he still had no idea who this odd girl was.

"Um...What is your name? I'll be sure to let him know you dropped by." Carlisle suggested, wanting to get away from this bizarre being as soon as possible.

"M-my name is B-B-Bella Swan."

**OOH. CLIFFHANGER.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi!**

**Just thought I would update again while I could think of ideas/had the time to do it... Hope you like it...:D** **Will update again soon I think... OMG PLZ REVIEW IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY. I dedicate this story to mah best bbfriend, XxbellawadforevaxX. Luv ya GURRL!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Hanna Montana... **

**Chapter 2.**

"EMMETT, CAN YOU PLEASE TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN, I AM TRYING TO DRIVE!" Carlisle bellowed over the top of Emmett's exceedingly loud MP3 player. "The whole point of earphones is so that others don't have to listen to their music too! We can't hear Edwards's music, for instance"

Emmett groaned and pulled his earphones out, before turning his player off. He looked over his shoulder at Edward, who had his headphones in. He had eyes closed and was nodding his head profusely to the 'beat', whilst meaningfully mouthing the words. Emmett rolled his eyes.

"At least my music isn't shit."

"Well, I think that's up to interpretation, dear. Edward obviously has different 'taste' to you…" Esme suggested. Emmett snorted.

"If that's what you call it. Why are we going to this stupid 'Daddy C' concert anyway?" Carlisle ground his teeth together and Esme smiled, as patient as always.

"Carlisle wanted to do something as a family, dear. Edward…'enjoys' the music, so we decided to support his interests by involving everyone!" She looked pleased with herself. There was a loud 'humph' from Edward, who had removed his earphones and had obviously caught the last part of Esme's words.

"Why is it, Esme, that when I am not personally a part of the conversation that you decide to RIDICULE MY PREFERENCE IN TUNES!" Carlisle groaned, Emmett snickered and Esme looked horrified.

"But Edward, darling, I wasn't ridiculing you! You have obviously missed part of the conversation…" Edward pursed his lips and slumped into his seat, hands folded tightly across his chest.

"Edward, you need to stop being so melodramatic" Carlisle instructed, trying to keep the peace.

"Ah, Carlisle, I see that you too have joined the 'I strongly dislike Edward and his freedom of choice' alliance." Emmett, who been silently enjoying the goings on, decided to put in a little to the argument.

"Eddy, look, sorry for the misunderstanding, but you've got it all wrong!" Edward looked puzzled, but Esme smiled.

"That's the spirit, Emmett! See? It's not too hard to get along…" Emmett continued.

"Yeh, you've got it all wrong! It's actually the 'We HATE Edward and his SHIT choice of tunes' alliance!" He guffawed. Edward turned red.

"STOP THE CAR, CARLISLE." The brakes were slammed and Carlisle pulled over. "NONE OF YOU PEOPLE APPRECIATE MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE COMMUNITY. I might as well BE UN-UN-DEAD" And with that, he opened the door and stepped out of the car before turning around and momentarily glaring at the inhabitants of the Mercedes. "I'll see you all at the concert. At least DADDY C APPRECIATES ME." And with a flourish (and some spectacular 1970's special effects) he ran off into the distance at an inhuman speed.

Carlisle rolled his eyes as Alice and Jasper, who were following behind, pulled up beside them.

"What on earth is going on here?" Alice asked through the window of her canary yellow Porsche. Jasper glanced sideways anxiously before returning to stare blankly through the front window. Carlisle shook his head.

"Edward has decided he would like to run to the concert without us. Let's just keep going." Alice shrugged and accelerated, driving in front of Carlisle this time. Emmett was still shaking with silent laughter as Carlisle followed the Porsche. Esme looked down sadly, wringing her hands together nervously.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Where did we go wrong?" Emmett laughed.

"Maybe you should have left him back in Chicago, dying." Carlisle opened his mouth to voice his agreement, but Esme cut in.

"EMMETT! That is quite enough from you. Of course Carlisle shouldn't have left Edward to die! That is positively awful thing to say. Isnt that right dear?" Carlisle was hunched over the steering wheel, fuming at the fact that he would only be there with 5 minutes to spare. Esme repeated the question.

"Isn't that right Carlisle, dear?" Carlisle jumped, before struggling with his answer momentarily.

"Er, yes, Emmett, your brother has the right to leave the car." He mumbled. Emmett snickered. Esme glared at him as nastily as she could, but failed miserably. She couldn't be horrible, no matter how hard she tried. She decided to change the subject.

"Oh, Carlisle, sweetheart, who was that girl that appeared on our doorstep before we left?" Carlisle shrugged.

"No idea! She just said she wanted to see Edward. He didn't even know who she was..." He was interrupted by the dulcet tones of Lagy Gaga, playing from Emmett's mobile phone. Emmett flipped it open.

"Hey, baby! Hows the 'study' going? Haha, I see...Yeh, Edward is on tip top hormonal form tonight...He got out of the car and ran to the arena... I know! You should be glad you were smart enough to think of a way out! Wait, what? Yeh, I know the one... She came over before we left... Huh? She wanted to borrow something from his room? Did you let her in? NICE ONE. Ok then, I'll let them know...Love you babe... See ya!" He closed his phone. Esme looked over her shoulder.

"Let us know what?"

"You know that girl that dropped in before? The Bella one?" Esme nodded. "Well, Rosalie said she dropped around AGAIN" Esme blinked astonished.

"But, we told her we would be out tonight! Why would she come back?" Emmett shrugged.

"She asked Rose if she could go into Edwards room and borrow something..." Esme gasped, clasping her hand to her mouth.

"Rosalie didnt' _let her in_?" Emmett grinned.

"She sure did! Apparently she borrowed a few of his turtlenecks and a pair of pinstripe trousers..." Emmett collapsed hysterics. "He's got about 50 of each, who cares?!" Esme and Carlisle exchanged glances.

**Reviewing **= **Chupa Chups...JS**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thankyou everyone, for all your reviews! Hope to get some more if I update... This chapter is a little longer. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer... Stephanie Myer, Ciara/Justin Timberlake... :D**

As they finally arrived at the venue, Carlisle found a car park and apologetically excused himself to catch up with some work friends, of whom he wanted to thank for purchasing the tickets for the evening. Esme, Emmett, Alice and Jasper made their way to entrance of the gigantic arena, where they would hand in their tickets and find their seats. At the entry line, the family found Edward waiting, looking extremely depressed. Emmett bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"How come you haven't gone in and found your seat, Eddy?" Edward looked slightly sheepish.

"As I arrived I realised that I did not, in fact, have my ticket with me. And as it is impolite to force my way in, I obviously chose to wait for you to arrive. This was, evidently, the gentlemanly option." Esme patted his arm soothingly.

"Of course it was, darling. Let's just go in and have a nice time, now, shall we?" Edward's eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together excitedly.

"I heard that the merchandise stall was selling a new line of exquisitely designed nose clippers, embellished in the Daddy C symbol!" Emmett and Jasper excused themselves politely, but Alice was a little slow on the uptake. Edward gazed at her expectantly.

"Will you accompany me, Alice?" She blinked, busy attempting to think up her own reason to leave. Esme smiled at him encouragingly.

"I would be more than happy to take you along to the stall, Edward, darling." Edward rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.

"Well I SUPPOSE you could come along, Esme. But don't expect me to listen to your suggestions on what is 'a waste of money'." Alice breathed a sigh of relief. Esme frowned.

"I think you're getting me confused with Carlisle, sweetheart…" Edward interjected.

"Are you suggesting, ESME, that my memory is malfunctioning somewhat?"

Alice quickly excused herself to visit the bathroom before she was caught up in the rest of the impossible argument, of which Esme would never win. Alice knew her family were impatient with Edward's childish behaviour, but, sadly, it seemed, nothing would ever change.

She eventually found Jasper and Emmett, who were already sitting comfortably in their seats. Jasper shied away from Alice's glares, while Emmett shook with silent laughter. She took her seat beside Jasper.

"If you two every leave me alone with that pathetic child ever again, I will slice you up into little pieces and feed you to the Volturi." Both Jasper and Emmett whimpered nervously. Alice peered around the stadium.

"Where is Carlisle?" Emmett shrugged.

"He always makes us go to these stupid events, but we never see him for the entire show!" Jasper frowned.

"Maybe he's just busy, since he has to thank all of his colleagues for buying the tickets and such…" Alice scoffed.

"It takes an entire show to get around thanking them? How many of them bought us tickets?"

It was at this moment that Edward arrived with Esme in pursuit, carrying 5 bulging plastic bags with the Daddy C logo printed on them.

"We spent approximately $10, 504 on presents for you all!" He announced proudly. The four siblings groaned as Edward and Esme took their seats.

"How long is it until the show begins?" Edward demanded impatiently. Esme placed her hand on his knee soothingly.

"It begins in about 15 minutes, dear." Edward slumped into his hard, plastic chair and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

The rest of the stadium began to fill quite quickly and soon enough, the seats surrounding the six Cullen's were taken up by more excited fans. Edward looked up at the girl who had just occupied the seat next to him. She was wearing a very familiar looking khaki turtle-neck sweater and an equally familiar pair of pinstripe trousers. Edward lifted an eyebrow as the girl turned her head, her eyes filling with tears as she saw him staring at her.

"D-do you like m-m-m-my outfit?" she stammered. Edward jumped, realising this was the girl that had visited the house this morning. She had said that she knew him…

"Excuse me, but apparently I should I know you?" She grinned creepily.

"Why yes! We g-g-go to Forks High together! I s-share a b-b-biology bench with you!" Edward furrowed his eyebrow, trying to place her into the scene. He imaged the table he worked on…The teacher's desk at the front of the room… His lab partner… Aha! Now he remembered her. The neurotic biology fanatic he worked with on experiments. He shuddered, but she didn't appear to have noticed.

"T-that experiment w-w-we did on t-transects and q-q-quadrats…It was interesting, w-wasn't it?" Edward stuck his nose in the air.

"On the contrary, I found that the experiment was well below MY ability as a scientist and did not stimulate the mind at all. I have, in fact, completed much harder tests in the past." Bella beamed.

"Y-you are v-v-very smart, aren't y-you?" Edward shrugged off the compliment.

"The concepts we study in class are not overly complex. I find that as long as you have some intelligence, the tasks can be executed. I am sorry to say that some children in our class do not meet these… simple requirements!" He giggled loudly as Bella stared at him longingly. Suddenly, the lights dimmed and the atmospheric music lowered, signalling the start of the show. The stadium filled with screams from the thousands of 'Daddy C' fans assembled for the performance, including Edward, who had jumped up from his seat and was flailing his arms madly. The remaining Cullen's put their hands over their ears, attempting to block out Edward's high pitched squeal. Emmett frowned as he caught Bella staring eagerly after his girly brother. He turned to Jasper and Alice, yelling over the screams.

"What is WITH that girl? All he's done is call make out like she's stupid and forget who she was, yet she's obsessed with him!" Alice shrugged as Esme leaned over into the conversation.

"Maybe you can't see Edward through the eyes of Bella, Emmett dear. Don't be too quick to judge her, everyone has different taste. Edward has got some lovely characteristics." Alice snorted loudly, startling them.

"What exactly has Edward got, other than an excess storage of oestrogen and no sense of humour?" Emmett guffawed but Esme didn't look pleased.

"Alice, honestly, I would never have expected that from you." Alice smirked.

"Ok then, Esme, tell us one 'characteristic' that is enticing about Edward." Esme blinked.

"Well, dear, I don't think that is entirely fair…" Alice cut her off.

"Of course it is! You said it yourself that Edward has an endearing side. What is it?" Esme fidgeted nervously.

"Well, I… He… Edward is very responsible." Emmett grinned.

"Edward is very boring, you mean." Esme glowered.

"Your brother is also very… appealing to the eye, Emmett. Even you can't disagree with that." Alice chuckled.

"I think that appears to be his problem, Esme. Edward is very vain." Esme sighed. At his moment, Daddy C walked out onto the stage, clapping his hands above his head rhythmically. He began to sing to his first song, of which Edward joined in rather loudly.

'_Your care is so magic to me  
The strangest things can happen  
The way that you react to me  
I don't want to do something you can't imagine  
Imagine if there was a million me's talking politely to you like that  
You think you can handle, boy  
If I give you my handkerchief I'll need you to give it right back.'_

Emmett blocked his ears as Daddy C reached the chorus. The entire stadium, filled predominately with heavily religious Catholic fans, had started screaming the words.

'_All night, read it, just you and your bible  
Being responsible like you never seen  
And I bet that I can make you believe  
In love and respect and equality  
So let me pay for you  
I bet you know what I mean  
Cause you know that I can make you believe  
In love and respect and equality'_

Bella was now singing along too, throwing excited glances at Edward occasionally, seeing if he was impressed by her interest in the performance. But Edward only had eyes for the tall, excessively handsome singer that was performing.

Esme, who had never been to see Daddy C before, was staring unbelievably at the blonde dancing on stage, wearing a scarf around his head, some very baggy tracksuit pants and a fluoro wind jacket. She knew him.

'Carlisle?' she whispered.


End file.
